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I climbed up, careful not to loose balance - I didn't want to hurt myself on the hard ceramic tiles - and took out my glass. When I'd poured myself some and gulped it down I felt a lot better but I still felt a little frustrated by my limitations. I was tempted to go right out to the garage and bring the ladder in, get the stone and change back, but I tried to resist. Part of my frustration was that I didn't really feel stuck. The ladder seemed too accessible. It was my choice whether to get it or not. Apart from the difficulty of getting it inside, I wasn't really stuck at all. I was still in control. I still didn't want to REALLY loose control but I did want to feel as though I had. It seemed like a contradiction. I made myself some lunch, but though it was a struggle, the feeling of incapability was more constricting than satisfying. As I sat at the kitchen table eating, my mind started to wander as I tried to work out how I could do this - how I could establish a feeling of being. I began to read up - took a few times because i'd get all worked up and cum all over myself while reading. Eventually I learned to push as I tried to get a dildo in my ass. I had bought a dildo that was advertised to be as realistic as they come and had a suction cup I could stick on the edge of the bath tub - I always did my playing in there before taking my daily shower. It took me a while to get used to this, it always hurt some when I got the head past the ring and eventually I'd give up. One day while reading a sexy story about 2 men having anal sex, the guy talked about putting the other mans legs on his shoulders and getting access to his hole in a missionary position. So I recalled my chat sessions with "glasspack" and recalled this was his approach as well. So I got my new toy, some lube, my best porn stories and headed for the bathroom. I attached the suction cup to the side of the tub and lubed myself up good. I then laid on my back and let the dildo slide up and down.
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